《窄庫推車的霸氣工人、窗櫺閃光燈與「曾」家馬隊的惡作劇》

【作者注】

夢裡所謂 PY 的住房，現實中其實是 J 父母的家。兩位老人去世後房子歸了 J。因為 J 當時不在美國，我和胡笳便在2001年至2006年間租住在那裡。我們搬走以後，那棟房子便一直空關著。現實中根本就沒有任何專人看管，只是由我和胡笳每隔個十天半月，自己開車回去開開窗、透透氣。潛意識卻在夢裡把這個簡單的日常習慣，演繹成了一場有人看管、甚至招來軍車搜捕的荒誕大戲。

【夢境正文】

2023年8月17日：PY 的那套住房我已經有好久沒去了，平時都是交由專人看管著的。這回我去了，心裡總覺得有些不太習慣。中途有修理工上門來修理東西，他把自己的車停在了房屋西側的車庫裡。車庫狹窄，只能容下一輛車。（現實生活中那地方是條露天車道）。

等幹完活兒之後，只見那個修理工居然直接用雙手將他的車子推出了車庫。車庫大門口的地面上還有一個凸起的台階，他也只是加大力度，就把整輛車給推上了台階，一路推到了外面的大馬路上才發動開走，好霸氣。

負責看管房子的人家有一個小女孩，她敲門進屋，在桌上留下了一部折疊式手機。

沒過多久，外面又傳來了敲門聲。我透過窗戶看到門前的車道上正停著兩輛車，後面那一輛是軍用卡車，裡面黑壓壓地坐滿了荷槍實彈、神色威嚴的軍人。前面那輛車裡則下來了幾個身穿便衣的人，他們徑直來到門口，就開始大聲宣讀罪狀，作勢就要進屋抓人。

正當爭辯之際，突然走過來一個人對著領頭的說：「弄錯了，不是這一家，趕緊撤！」話音剛落，「呼啦」一下，這撥來勢洶洶的人便走得乾乾淨淨。直到這時，我才放下心來。

我順手拿起小女孩留下的那部折疊手機，來到了東邊的窗戶前。我用手分開百葉窗的條櫺，透過那道窄窄的縫隙，想用手機對著外面那群正準備離去的人拍張照片。

可好巧不巧，那部手機在按下快門的剎那，「唰」地一下，閃光燈竟然發出了一片刺眼的光。這一下立馬被還沒走遠的軍車上的人給發現了。

剎那間，四五個軍人迅速抬起了手中的槍，齊刷刷地對準了我所站立的那扇窗戶。他們有的拿著手槍，有幾個手裡拿著的則是極其先進的長槍，那黑黝黝、冷冰冰的槍管看起來十分滲人。

我心知不妙，急忙離開窗子想躲避。但詭異的是，這整面牆壁在這一刻竟然全都變成了透明的玻璃，我根本無處藏身。無奈之下，我立馬走出了大門，雙手高高攤開，做出一副把手機主動交出去的姿勢，面部表情也盡量顯得平靜，試圖向他們傳達：我並沒有任何惡意。

最後才發現，這根本不是什麼抓捕，是「曾」家的人馬在故意表演的一場惡作劇，目的是為了在某個日子向房子的主人表示祝賀的，結果卻荒誕地找錯了地方。

**********************************

The Strongman in the Garage, an Accidental Camera Flash, and the False Arrest Misadventure

[Author's Note]

The residence referred to as PY’s quarters in the dream was, in reality, J’s parents’ old family home. After the elders passed away, the property was inherited by J. Since J was not in the United States at the time, Hu Jia and I rented and lived in that house from 2001 to 2006. After we moved out, the house remained locked and vacant. There was never any designated housekeeper looking after the property; rather, Hu Jia and I would simply drive back every ten days or a fortnight on our own just to open the windows and air out the rooms. Yet, my subconscious took this simple real-life routine and dramatized it into a grand narrative involving a property caretaker and a sudden military raid.

August 17, 2023:

I hadn't visited PY's residence in a very long time; it was usually left under the care of a housekeeper. Returning this time, I felt a distinct sense of unfamiliarity. A repairman arrived to fix some fixtures, parking his vehicle inside the garage on the west side of the house. The garage was exceedingly narrow, barely accommodating a single car.（In real life, that place is an open-air driveway.）

Upon completing his task, the repairman unexpectedly proceeded to manually push his car out of the garage with his bare hands. Although there was a raised step at the threshold of the garage door, he simply applied a sudden burst of immense strength, shoved the vehicle up over the ledge, and rolled it all the way out into the main road before turning the ignition to drive away. It was a display of sheer, formidable power.

The housekeeper's young daughter knocked and entered the room, leaving a folding mobile phone behind on the table.

Shortly after, another knock rattled the front door. Looking through the window, I spotted two vehicles idling in the driveway. The one in the rear was a military transport truck, packed with heavily armed soldiers wearing solemn expressions. Several men in plain clothes disembarked from the front vehicle, marched straight to the entrance, and began bellowing out a list of criminal charges, preparing to breach the house to make an arrest.

As a heated argument ensued at the door, someone abruptly approached the leader and interjected, "There's a mistake, it's not this house. Retract immediately!" No sooner were the words spoken than the aggressive faction cleared out as swiftly as they had arrived. Only then did I fully breathe a sigh of relief.

I picked up the folding phone left by the young girl and walked to the eastern window. Parting the slats of the window blinds, I attempted to snap a photograph of the retreating crowd through the narrow gap.

Unluckily, the exact instant I pressed the shutter, the phone's flash emitted a brilliant, blinding burst of stark light. This sudden illumination was instantly detected by the alert soldiers on the military truck who hadn't yet departed.

Within a heartbeat, four or five soldiers raised their weapons, aligning their barrels squarely at the window where I stood. Some held pistols, while others wielded advanced long rifles—their dark, cold metallic muzzles appearing thoroughly menacing.

Aware of the danger, I bolted from the window to seek cover. Yet, incomprehensibly, the entire solid wall had transformed at that moment into transparent glass, leaving me completely exposed. Seeing no alternative, I marched out the front door, spreading both hands wide in a submissive gesture to surrender the phone, keeping my facial expression entirely neutral to project that I harbored no ill intent.

In the end, it was revealed that the entire event was an elaborate prank staged by the "Zeng" family cohort. It was meant to be a theatrical congratulatory surprise to the homeowner for a specific occasion, but they had absurdly targeted the wrong house.

特別感謝 Gemini AI 提供充滿活力的翻譯和文本潤色。

Special thanks to Gemini AI for providing the spirited translation and text refinement.

第四百二十五篇