感覺真切的初吻,是在睡夢中發生的,地點是在上海的一家叫做星火日夜商店的門口。夢中那個店門是由幾扇大玻璃木門組成的,推著會在原地打轉。對方是陌生的西方人,他從裡面出來,而我正要進去,被他一把攔腰摟住吻醒。很多年後我的第一次婚姻對象是西方人,那個夢中「初吻」,是不是冥冥之中早有的暗示?(注:現實生活中,那家店實際上我只路過幾次,沒進去過,是在西藏中路和新閘路交叉路口。入口處也不是旋轉門,70年代的我應該還沒聽說過旋轉門。)
有一次竟然是在一個自然景色中有坡有樹、人群如潮,個個裸體,男女狂歡,千姿百態。這場景有點像耶羅尼米斯·博斯(Hieronymus Bosch)的「人間樂園」(Garden of Earthly Delights)。他們還彎曲著身子,背朝背、股對股(不可思議的姿勢)地交歡。就在他們局部身體接觸的一剎那,突然天崩地裂,地動山搖。(可能是上蒼也對這淫亂震怒了)
昨晚做了一個奇妙的夢,Y老師時隔二十年之後第一次進入了我的夢鄉。情愫瀰漫,渴望萌動……他牽著我的手在一棟辦公大樓裡款款而行…… 但大廳裡、辦公室裡、走廊上到處都是人。在長長的走道裡繞了很久,找到了一間空無一人的房間。終於被他吻了的感覺,彷彿大漠被春雨滋潤,猶如沐浴在冬日暖暖的陽光裡……可就在那一刻,突然注意到窗外和敞開的門口有人正在窺視著。醒了。
黎晨和她父親以及一個哥哥待在一座華麗的城堡裡。門鈴響了,他們的管家正好有事不在,黎晨便去開了門。站在門口的是一位高大英俊的年輕人,他是黎晨中學時代的一個女同學的哥哥,叫黃鷹,就住在隔壁門洞裡。他在文化大革命期間是一位大明星,會唱歌、跳舞和表演說唱。手裡的竹板上下翻飛打得啪啪作響,口里的快板兒書說得溜溜兒的,嗓音洪亮棒極了。那時候幾乎每個年輕女孩都迷戀他,但那時黎晨還太小,吸引不了他的注意。
這一開門見到黃鷹特地來看她,黎晨感到受寵若驚。他們坐在一張漂亮的古董沙發上,愉快地聊著天。房間裡燭光昏暗,氣氛很浪漫。很快黎晨意識到自己從腰部以下什麼都沒穿。她試著用手遮住自己,因為太暗了,她以為沒有人會注意到。然而她突然感覺到他的手輕輕碰觸著她的雙腿之間,感到既興奮又美好。
他們走了出去。眼前是一片魔幻的景象,看起來像是一個個迷你的山脈,起伏的丘陵和山峰。它讓黎晨想起了黃山,但尺度要小得多。他倆夢幻般地沿著森林小徑飄浮,月光透過茂密的樹葉在他們裸露的身體上投下光影。他的身體就像那些希臘神像,皮膚光滑細緻,肌肉結實而修長。雲朵環繞著這片仙境,他們在那兒手拉手飄浮著,像天女散花般穿行,毫不費力。
忽然他們聽到下面傳來快樂的叫喊聲,打破了這片美麗而平靜的時刻。透過雲層俯瞰,聚集在山谷中有一大波人群。這個山谷比迷你黃山景觀低很多。似乎這片魔幻景觀在天上,而山谷在地上。
周圍的人群興奮地跳躍、笑著看表演,真是群情沸騰。有三個年輕男子一個接一個地站起來,進行高潮表演。白色的精液向四處飛濺,射得高高的。人群歡呼雀躍。那精液流似乎永無止境。
一名穿著薄薄白袍的年輕女子背對著一名男子,讓精液飆射她。當精液浸透她的長袍,讓它像第二層皮膚般黏在身上時,她發出歡愉的喊叫和呻吟。人們能看到她優雅的背部和臀部線條。
黎晨和黃鷹站在一棵松樹旁,高高地俯視著那群狂歡的人群,溫柔地結合在一起。「噢!親愛 的……」黎晨低語道,用手輕柔地引導著愛人……他倆雙唇溫柔地貼在一起;當他在黎晨體內釋放的那一刻,她因極致的喜悅而戰慄不已。
Jay Leno 的情人節秀裡 Kurt Russell 是座上賓。黎晨躺著看完了電視就睡著了。是夜「Kurt Russell」竟然進入她的夢了!卿卿我我極盡纏綿。
黎晨幫他們出了點注意怎樣裝貼。幹累了大家席地而躺著。「Kurt」在黎晨邊斜躺著,隱隱約約地黎晨感到一點被壓,睜開眼睛一看「Kurt」正用他那健壯迷人的上身輕輕地壓下來,他的右胳膊撐在地上右手託著頭,帶著他那特有的醉人的微笑。「嗯……」黎晨不由自主地發出了一聲愜意的輕嘆。手在他那性感的身上摸了一下。怕別人看見,她挪了一下身子,挪出了他的範圍。
可能是太累了,大家都躺下了並且還有薄薄的被子蓋著。「Kurt」與她之間有一、二尺距離。朦朧中他的膝蓋碰了一下她的手,然後她的手就被他的雙膝挾住。輕輕地被膝蓋揉著,漸漸地他的膝蓋與腿將她的手引導到他的私處。似睡非醒中她的手在撩弄他,他的慾望在燃燒著,苦於有礙觀瞻,為防人眼目不能隨心所欲。
正在為這無望的愛嘆息之際,一隻溫柔的手從她的後腰摟來。她轉過身去,「是你!」驚喜道。他用熾熱的唇封住了她的口,在他的陽剛中她徹底地軟化了,變成了一池春水,蕩起了漣漪……
夢見夜晚,黎晨跟著陶陶來到一條古老寧靜的小巷子,在一個門牌為21號的門洞口站著做愛。這是與鄰居的房屋接連在一起的二層小屋,外牆是白色的已經舊了,門洞比別家的要深,裡面的木門也有點兒年代了。
Spring Rain in the Desert, Celestial Fairylands, and Alleyway No. 21
The Awakening and Evolution of Desire
In the early years, whenever I encountered a lover in my dreams, their mutual affection ran deep and tender, yet I could never find a secluded, quiet sanctuary to escape the prying eyes of the world and embrace him in peace. More often than not, right at the very precipice of a passionate kiss, I would awake with a lingering sense of profound regret.
My very first physically genuine kiss actually transpired within the theater of sleep. The setting was the entrance of a famous 24-hour establishment in Shanghai called the "Xinghuo Day & Night Store." In my dream, the storefront was constructed of several large, revolving glass-and-wooden doors. A male Western stranger was exiting from the inside just as I was preparing to enter; he suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into a passionate embrace that startled me awake. Many years later, the object of my first real-life marriage would indeed be a Westerner. Looking back, was that nocturnal "first kiss" a mystical premonition subtly mapped out by destiny?
(Note: In reality, I had only walked past that shop a few times and had never actually stepped inside; it was located at the intersection of Xizang Middle Road and Xinzha Road. The entrance didn't actually have revolving doors either—back in the 1970s, I doubt I had even heard of a revolving door.)
As the gears of time marched forward, the landscape of my dreams shifted. I was finally able to enjoy complete, uninhibited intimacy with her dream lovers, turning the world upside down in passionate abandon. These dreams grew increasingly surreal, magnificent, and breathtakingly wild.
The Sacred Carnality of the Earthly Delights
On one occasion, I found myself immersed in a natural landscape defined by undulating hills and lush trees, where a massive crowd of people—all entirely nude—gathered to indulge in a grand, multi-faceted bacchanal of physical pleasure. The sprawling spectacle perfectly mirrored Hieronymus Bosch’s masterpiece, The Garden of Earthly Delights. The revelers contorted their bodies in impossible, back-to-back, hip-to-hip positions of intimacy. Yet, at the precise fraction of a second when their bodies made localized physical contact, an apocalyptic event erupted: the skies shattered and the mountains groaned, a violent earthquake rocking the very foundations of the earth. (Perhaps the Heavens themselves had erupted in righteous fury over such chaotic abandon.)
October 23, 1993: The Spring Rain and the Desert
I had a wondrous dream last night; Teacher Y entered my slumbers for the very first time after twenty long years apart. A profound sentiment filled the air, and a dormant longing began to stir... He gently took my hand, and together we strolled gracefully through a massive office building. However, the lobbies, the offices, and the corridors were suffocatingly crowded with people. After wandering through the long hallways for what felt like ages, we finally discovered an empty, private room. The sensation of finally being kissed by him felt as though a barren desert was being thoroughly nourished by a gentle spring rain, or like being bathed entirely in the warm, comforting sunshine of a cold winter day... Yet, at that precise moment, I suddenly noticed people peering at us through the windows and the wide-open doorway. And then, I awoke.
October 21, 1998: The Celestial Maiden and the Fountain of Youth
Li Chen, along with her father and one of her older brothers, occupied a splendid, magnificent chateau. The doorbell rang, and since their butler happened to be away on business, Li Chen went to answer it. Standing at the threshold was a tall, exceptionally handsome young man named Huang Ying—the older brother of one of her junior high classmates, who lived in the adjacent alleyway entrance. During the Cultural Revolution, he had been a massive celebrity, renowned for his singing, dancing, and rhythmic comic recitations. With bamboo clappers flipping dynamically between his fingers, snapping out sharp cadences, his rapid-fire raps were delivered in a booming, magnificent voice that enchanted every young girl of that era. Back then, Li Chen had been far too young to ever catch his attention.
Finding Huang Ying at her door, visiting her specifically, left Li Chen feeling profoundly flattered. They sat close together on an antique sofa, conversing pleasantly beneath the dim, romantic glow of flickering candlelight. Suddenly, Li Chen realized she was wearing absolutely nothing from the waist down. She attempted to shield herself with her hands, assuming the shroud of darkness would keep her secret hidden. Yet, unexpectedly, she felt the gentle, exquisite touch of his hand brushing between her thighs, igniting a sensation that was both thrilling and beautiful.
No, Li Chen thought to herself, I must not allow him to do this to me. My father and brother are still inside the house.
"Let us go outside," Huang Ying whispered, pressing a soft, tender kiss against her lips.
Together, they stepped out into a magical, surreal landscape of miniature mountain ranges, rolling hills, and jagged peaks. It evoked the ethereal grandeur of Yellow Mountain, yet scaled down to a whimsical, intimate size. Dreamily, they floated along a dense forest path, the silver moonlight casting intricate shadows across their completely naked bodies through the thick canopy of leaves. His physique resembled the flawless marble statues of Greek gods—silky smooth skin stretched over lean, sculpted muscle. Shrouded in swirling mists, they drifted hand-in-hand through this fairyland, moving effortlessly like celestial maidens scattering flowers.
Suddenly, a chorus of joyous shouting and ecstatic cheers broke through the serene silence of the night. Peering down through a rift in the clouds, they overlooked a colossal valley situated far below their heavenly mountain retreat; it appeared that while they walked in the heavens, humanity gathered on the earth below.
In the center of the subterranean crowd, a performance was underway. Floating lower to catch a closer look, they were startled and delighted to witness a group of handsome young men tightly gripping their penises, masturbating in unison as if performing some ancient, forbidden ritual of fertility. The surrounding masses leapt and laughed in sheer exhilaration, a sea of boiling, ecstatic human energy. Three young men stood up in succession, reaching the absolute zenith of their climax. Streams of pearly white semen shot violently outward, blasting high and far into the dark sky as the crowd screamed in rapturous joy. The fountain of life seemed entirely infinite.
A young woman clad in a gossamer white gown turned her back toward one of the men, allowing the soaring streams to drench her completely. As the fluid saturated her garment, causing the fabric to cleave to her flesh like a second skin, she let out gasps and moans of raw pleasure. Through the translucent, soaked dress, the elegant, graceful contours of her back and buttocks were exposed to the night air. The men directed the streams upward, weaving and braiding the fluid like boys playing with water hoses before letting it rain back down upon their bodies.
Standing beside a towering pine tree, gazing down at the bacchanal from their lofty sanctuary, Li Chen and Huang Ying tenderly locked their bodies together. "Oh! Dearest..." Li Chen murmured, her hands gently guiding her lover into her core. Their lips pressed fiercely together, and the moment he exploded inside her, her entire being shuddered with the absolute, exquisite weight of pure ecstasy.
February 14, 2003: The Long-Lost Jewels and the Pool of Spring Water
On the evening of Valentine's Day, Kurt Russell was featured as the guest of honor on The Jay Leno Show. Li Chen watched the broadcast from her bed before drifting off to sleep. That very night, "Kurt Russell" entered her dreamscape, initiating an incredibly intimate and deeply affectionate romance!
The man in her dream was simply the spitting image of Kurt Russell—not only in physical form but in his dashing temperament, possessing an effortless elegance and a captivating charm.
The setting was the bustling office of a newly founded company. "Kurt," alongside several colleagues, was busily installing baseboard molding along the edges of the walls. Li Chen walked inside, spotting an old colleague of hers—Accountant D—among the crowd, though the remaining faces were entirely unfamiliar.
Li Chen stepped forward, offering a few clever suggestions on how to align the molding. Exhausted from the labor, the crew eventually collapsed onto the floor to rest. "Kurt" reclined right beside Li Chen, his upper body propped up by his right forearm, his hand supporting his head. Subconsciously, Li Chen felt a gentle weight pressing down upon her; opening her eyes, she found "Kurt" leaning his muscular, devastatingly handsome chest lightly against her, wearing his signature, intoxicating smile. "Mmm..." a contented, breathless sigh escaped Li Chen's lips. Her hand reached out, gently caressing his sensual body. Yet, terrified of being seen by the others, she subtly shifted her torso, sliding out from beneath his frame.
Perhaps overcome by exhaustion, everyone eventually settled down to sleep beneath thin blankets. A distance of a foot or two separated "Kurt" and Li Chen. In the hazy twilight of slumber, his knee brushed against her hand, and suddenly her hand was gently caught and held between his knees. With a soft, rubbing motion, his legs slowly guided her hand toward his private region. Floating in a state between sleep and waking, her fingers began to caress him, his burning desire fanned to a fierce blaze. Yet, tormented by the public setting, they were forced to restrain their passions to evade the watchful eyes of the office.
Dragging her softened body and heavy, stumbling steps, carrying a deep well of tender affection mixed with a faint, sorrowful regret, Li Chen walked through the streets in a daze, heading back to her house.
Standing in her kitchen, she tossed sliced meat into a wok, her hand mechanically wiping down a large bowl that had held the ingredients. Her soul remained utterly marooned in the melancholic, intoxicating longing of that dream, realizing she had fallen hopelessly in love with him.
Just as she let out a heavy sigh over this impossible romance, a pair of gentle arms suddenly reached around from behind, wrapping securely around her waist. She spun around in sheer shock and delight—"It's you!" she gasped. He instantly sealed her lips with a scalding, passionate kiss. Surrounded by his overwhelming masculinity, her entire spirit completely dissolved, turning into a pool of spring water, rippling softly in the quiet kitchen.
After his departure, Accountant D materialized in the kitchen, carrying a heavy briefcase. Opening the latches, he revealed a spectacular hoard of brilliant jewels, claiming they were treasures Li Chen had entrusted to him a long, long time ago.
Outside the window, "Kurt" happened to ride past on his bicycle, catching sight of Li Chen and Accountant D standing close together by the glass. Li Chen worried if he would misinterpret their relationship. Fortunately, the front door to her house remained completely wide open.
April 7, 2009: The Subconscious Pulse of the Old Alleyway
Under the cover of night, Li Chen followed Tao Tao into an ancient, profoundly quiet alleyway, coming to a halt before a deep entrance marked with the house number 21 to make love. The structure was a weathered, two-story townhouse connected to neighboring buildings, its white exterior walls worn with age. The recessed doorway was significantly deeper than those of the surrounding homes, and the wooden door inside bore the rich patina of a bygone era.
Plastered flat against the wall, her arms wrapped tightly around Tao Tao’s neck, Li Chen abandoned her softened body entirely to the rhythm, absorbing the intense waves of pleasure brought by each upward thrust of his body.
The raw ecstasy of her climax felt exactly like a rapid volley of bullets fired from a machine gun, tearing straight into the deepest chambers of her soul—da, da, da, da... Li Chen lay completely powerless, drifting in the exquisite, shattering convulsions of fulfillment.
Upon snapping awake, she found Hu Jia’s hand resting gently across her stomach, his body turning over to face away from her in his sleep.
"Were you dreaming?" he murmured drowsily.
"Mmm, I dreamed of making love," Li Chen replied.
"Well, it certainly wasn't with me," he grumbled.
"Did you actually feel my body shaking?" she asked.
"Mmm," he replied, "and your legs were clamped incredibly tight too."