一九八八年寒假，十二月十五日我們回了J母親的家。J的二姐和二姐夫也從意大利過來度假，姐夫在意大利的一所大學擔任理工科教授。
我跟J去植物林園花了40美金買了一棵一人多高的聖誕樹，綁在車頂上運回家，在起居室的西南角支起來。聖誕樹底座的水盆裏加上水以保持樹的新鮮濕潤。繞上彩燈掛上裝飾彩球，頂部插上一顆星星，那是我第一次裝點聖誕樹。室內窗框也裝點了彩燈，壁爐上鋪滿了帶着清香的新鮮松枝，點着大蠟燭；壁爐前掛着的聖誕襪子裏也裝滿了禮物，客廳裏還有幾盆一品紅盛開著，掛在門上松枝環裏的大紅蝴蝶結鮮豔醒目。我還幫J架着扶梯把屋子前面的松柏樹都纏上了彩燈，節日氣氛溫馨濃郁。那是我有生以來第一次過聖誕。
聖誕前夜大家把五彩繽紛的禮品盒子堆放在了樹下，第二天一早便來到聖誕樹下認領各自的禮物。
我得到了J母親送的連褲襪、軟拖鞋和一張支票，來自J的姐姐的禮物是她從意大利帶來的羊絨毛衣一件和拜占庭（Byzance）香水一瓶。J給我的是一瓶香奈爾No.5香水和赫伯特·馮·卡拉揚指揮、柏林愛樂樂團演奏錄製的莫扎特歌劇《魔笛》CD一套。J得到的是書與酒。小貓米姬和小狗Lady也得到了禮物。小貓米姬相當特立獨行，一天到晚在家時間不多。小狗Lady喜歡跟人待在一起，但它怕被拍照，一看到人端着相機對着它就跑。估計在被J父母領養之前有過被虐待的經歷，心靈受損，留下了不良記憶，所以一看見人手裏拿着東西對着它就逃之夭夭。
照片裏是聖誕節早上，J的母親在給小狗打開禮物包裝袋，裏面有幾個雞蛋大小的球狀食物和一些磨牙耐啃的乾肉棒。小狗迫不及待地把鼻子和嘴都伸進了剛剛開了口的精美包裝袋裏。當然它也看到了照相機，立馬躲在J母親的手掌後。放大照片看，小狗的眼睛正通過J母親左手的拇指和食指之間，緊張地瞪圓了看着鏡頭，尾巴也夾得緊緊的。小貓卻獨自蹲在一隻長方形柳條籃子裏，十分投入地玩着人們剛剛拆下來、還打着卷兒的各色包裝禮品用的絲帶和蝴蝶結。
這張照片是我剛從聖誕樹下找到一個貼着我名字的小禮品盒，那是尚未拆開的No.5香水包裝盒。
說到禮物，那年暑假我第一次與J的家人見面時，我把從上海帶來的一些禮物給了他們。一套宜興紫砂壺，一個牛角雕成荷花蓮藕和兩隻蝦的筆筒。兩件套淡粉色真絲繡花晨袍給了J的二姐，而三件套黑色真絲內衣給了J的母親。我當時根本就沒有性感的概念。我們成長的年代，性感往往與輕浮和不檢點劃等號。我把粉紅色給了年輕人，把黑色給了老人，當場鬧了個笑話還不自知。原來那套黑色的才是年輕人穿的性感內衣。後來她們母女倆交換了禮物。這一方手帕是真絲手繡的，跟真絲晨袍和內衣一樣都是精美的手工刺繡品，是在上海南京西路大光明電影院邊上的上海工藝美術品服務部買的。給了J的母親，後來她被二姐接去了意大利，卻把這手帕落在了她臥室壁櫥的上層隔板上。
一九八八年的聖誕，是人人都盼的白色聖誕。屋外白雪皚皚，後院茫茫一片。聖誕之夜，我穿着厚厚的羊毛棒針衫和黑色的呢料裙子，胳膊肘撐在已積有一層薄雪的東陽台欄杆上，探出身子往外看，遠處是一片漆黑的夜。近處被燈光照射下，松枝與灌木叢上裹滿了白雪，十分超現實。
早上雪停了，地面上有積雪，但樹枝上的積雪不多。倉房前停放著J母親的福特和別克車上，也只蓋着薄薄的一層雪花。後院的草坪與菜園子都被厚厚的白雪蓋住。陰陰的天空下林子更顯得深邃，J正往裏走，此時的他在想什麼。
J母親的好友瑪姬九十多歲了，一隻眼睛視力退化得很厲害，雙耳都戴着助聽器，卻很睿智。她堅持獨自居住，不去養老院，用送餐服務。有鐘點工來打掃屋子，幫助洗澡。她還養了一隻鸚鵡，起名叫Pretty Boy。那鳥喜歡停在她肩上親她的臉。老太太常開車來J母親家坐坐，聊天敘舊。後來從家門口出來倒車時，不小心碰到了路邊的一個空的嬰兒車，從此就放棄了開車。兩位老人年輕時在其他州一起共過事，後來失去聯繫，直到J的父母退休後搬到湖區小鎮居住，才在他鄉又遇到了故知。
節假日是一定會請她過來聚聚的。我考取了駕照後，去接她的任務就落到了我的頭上。她家不遠，開車只有兩三分鐘。照片裏是一九八九年元旦前夜的晚餐。J母親坐在上座，左手邊是J和我，瑪姬坐在J母親的右手邊，然後是二姐，姐夫坐在主座的對面。
這張照片是一九九二年七月四日傍晚，瑪姬和J的母親坐在東陽台上喝酒聊天。照片中她們手上的酒我不認得，但她們經常會喝點餐前酒馬提尼，倒錐形的酒杯裏還放幾顆綠橄欖。
在J母親家閒着無聊時，她帶我到小鎮廣場的一家手工藝小店轉轉，在店裡看到一本舊的編織雜誌，裏面有一個教編織貓頭鷹的教程，蠻不錯，就買了回來。動手編織，當第一隻貓頭鷹「出世」時，瑪姬就喜歡上了。
她花五塊美金買了這第一隻。我不要她的錢，她非要給，還鼓勵我發揮我的手工藝技能並能由此掙點錢。她說：「我就是你的第一位顧客啦。」她還拿了兩塊布料來，叫我用其中一塊給她做條裙子，另外一塊送給我。我不會推銷自己，不會與人打交道，所以做不了生意。在美國打工都要有兩個推薦人，我在美國打的短工，都是J的母親和瑪姬給我做的推薦人。
我用麻繩編了四隻一尺多高的貓頭鷹，可以當作藝術品懸掛在牆上。那貓頭鷹瞪大着雙眼站在枯樹幹上，還挺精神的。那四隻貓頭鷹各具神態，似乎性格迥異。這第四隻貓頭鷹年輕時體態胖嘟嘟，眼神好奇，顯得有些稚氣，不如老來時那般含蓄與矜持。那貓頭鷹是掛着的，小時候比較肥，掛久了便瘦了下來，其實是重力墜的，因為爪子下面是一根比較粗的枯樹幹。
把老少貓頭鷹的照片放在一起，不僅是體態變得消瘦，顯得穩重。連爪子下的粗樹幹兩端都斷掉了一大截。歲月無情。貓頭鷹老二送給了J的大姐，老三老四還在。
一九八九年一月四日我第二次去紐約。天氣乾冷，但感覺清新舒暢。當時沒有仔細記錄，現在根據照片，排一下那天的行程。
在位於曼哈頓三十四街的梅西百貨商店我買了一件倫敦霧黑色夾層長風衣。
路過先驅廣場。這件羽絨大衣是1986年6月15日那天，J在上海和平飯店裡，第一次買給我的五件禮物之一。
上了一百零二層帝國大廈，在八十六層的觀景台上鳥瞰曼哈頓，上圖：往北看，背景裏有克萊斯勒大廈，下圖：往南看，鏡頭中有世貿中心雙子塔。
一路走着到了洛克斐勒廣場。新年伊始節慶氣氛相當濃郁。好高大的聖誕樹，有人在下沉廣場溜冰。西牆旁有一座鍍金青銅雕像，是希臘神話中把火種帶給人類的普羅米修斯。
上圖是薩克斯第五大道精品百貨店，下圖是華麗的聖派區克大教堂。
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Of the Christmas Tree atop the Car, the Timid Hound behind the Palm, the Exchange of Sable Vestments, and the Green Olives within the Glasses of Martini
During the winter recess, on the fifteenth day of December in the year nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, we made our return unto the homestead of J’s mother. J’s second sister, together with her husband, had likewise repaired thither from Italy to pass the season of festival; her helpmeet occupying a chair as a professor of the physical sciences at a certain Italian university.
In company with J, I repaired to a botanical nursery, where we expended forty dollars to purchase a fir tree taller than a man, which we bound fast onto the roof of our car and conveyed home, disposing it securely within the southwestern corner of the drawing-room. Into the basin at the root thereof we poured water, that the tree might preserve its freshness and moisture. We entwined it with diverse colored lamps, suspended sundry ornamental globes, and fixed a solitary star upon the uppermost spire; it was the foremost occasion in my existence that I had decorated a Christmas tree. The casements within were likewise adorned with small lamps, and the mantelpiece was thickly laid with fresh pine branches yielding a sweet fragrance, amidst which great candles burned. Before the hearth hung the traditional stockings, filled to abundance with tokens of the season, while sundry vessels of poinsettia flourished in full bloom about the parlor. A great scarlet ribbon fixed within a wreath of pine boughs upon the portal caught the eye with brilliant luster, and I assisted J by ascending a ladder to entwine the pine and cypress trees before the house with festive lights, rendering the atmosphere exceedingly warm and dense with holiday cheer. It was the inaugural Christmas of my earthly days.
Upon Christmas Eve, the company disposed their multi-colored gift boxes beneath the boughs, and on the morrow, we assembled there to claim our respective bounties. From J’s mother, I received a pair or two of pantyhose, soft slippers, and a bank cheque; while the tribute from J’s sister consisted of a woolen garment of cashmere brought from Italy, together with a flagon of Byzance perfume. J bestowed upon me a vessel of Chanel No. 5, alongside a set of compact discs containing Mozart’s opera, Die Zauberflöte, recorded under the baton of Herbert von Karajan with the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra. J, for his part, received a few bottles of vintage wine; even the small cat Miji and the little hound Lady were graced with such gifts as pleased them. The cat Miji was a creature exceedingly independent, who wandered abroad and passed but little of her season within the house. The little hound Lady, contrastingly, took great delight in the proximity of humankind, yet she entertained a grievous dread of the camera; the mere sight of a person directing such an instrument toward her frame would cause her to take instant flight. Perchance, prior to her adoption by J’s parents, she had suffered some measure of cruel usage, whereby her spirit was wounded and an evil memory remained, so that she fled apace whenever an object was directed at her.
The photographic plate displays the company on that festive morning, wherein J’s mother is engaged in opening a packet of treats for the hound, containing sundry spherical morsels of the bigness of an egg and certain dried strips of flesh fit for the whetting of teeth; the creature, carried away by eagerness, thrust both muzzle and jaws into the narrow mouth of the elegant wrapping. Yet she had not failed to observe the camera, and straightway shielded herself behind the open palm of J’s mother. Upon magnifying the image, one may perceive that the hound, with eyes widened in fear, is peering intently through the cleft between the thumb and forefinger of the matron’s left hand, her tail being tightly tucked beneath her. The cat, solitary and undisturbed, sat within a rectangular wicker basket, entirely absorbed in playing with the coiled silken ribbons and bows of diverse hues newly discarded from the parcels.
Another record displays myself, having newly discovered beneath the boughs a small parcel bearing my name, which contained the yet unopened vessel of No. 5 perfume.
Touching the matter of gifts, during the preceding summer when I first encountered J’s kindred, I delivered unto them certain tokens brought from Shanghai: a set of purple-clay teapots from Yixing, and a brush-pot carved from horn, depicting lotus roots and a pair of prawns. Two garments of pale pink silk, adorned with embroidery, I bestowed upon J’s sister, whilst a three-piece set of sable silk undergarments I presented unto J’s mother. In those days, the concept of the sensuous or provocative was wholly foreign to my mind; for in the era of our upbringing, such qualities were deemed synonymous with levity and indiscretion. Thus, in my ignorance, I assigned the pink hue to the youth and the black to the elder matron, occasioning a quiet amusement amongst the company without my knowledge; for in truth, the sable vestments were of the order preferred by the young. Subsequently, the mother and daughter exchanged their portions. There remains likewise a silken handkerchief, wrought with fine hand-embroidery of the same exquisite workmanship as the gowns, which I had purchased at the Shanghai Arts & Crafts Service Department. This I gave unto J’s mother; though when she was later conveyed by her daughter to Italy, she inadvertently left the handkerchief upon the uppermost shelf of her wardrobe.
The Christmas of the year nineteen hundred and eighty-eight was that white festival so universally desired; without, the snow lay deep and pristine, and the rear garden presented an expanse of untrodden white. Upon that winter night, clad in a thick woolen cable-knit sweater and a black wool skirt, I rested my elbows upon the balustrade of the eastern terrace, which was already overspread with a thin layer of snow, and leaned forth to look abroad. Afar off lay an absolute and ink-black night; yet nigh at hand, beneath the illumination of the lamps, the pine boughs and shrubbery were so thickly shrouded in white as to present an aspect entirely surreal. On the morrow, the tempest had ceased; snow remained upon the ground, yet the branches of the trees bore but a light dusting. Before the barn stood the Ford and Buick automobiles of J’s mother, overspread with a mere film of flakes. The lawn and the kitchen garden were buried beneath a heavy mantle, and beneath a sullen sky, the woods appeared yet more deep and inscrutable. J was walking thither into the thicket; what thoughts occupied his mind at that season, I could not tell.
Maggie, a beloved companion of J’s mother, had attained an age exceeding ninety years; though the vision of one eye was grievously impaired and both her ears were assisted by acoustic instruments, she yet possessed a remarkable sagacity. She maintained a resolute independence, refusing the retirement home and preferring to dwell solitary, sustained by the public service of Meals on Wheels, and attended by by an attendant visiting by the hour who cleansed her house and assisted her in the bath. She maintained moreover a parrot, upon whom she had bestowed the name Pretty Boy; the fowl took great delight in perching upon her shoulder to caress her cheek. This venerable lady frequently drove her automobile to the house of J’s mother to partake of wine and converse upon old times. Upon a subsequent occasion, whilst reversing her automobile from her portal, she inadvertently struck an empty infant-stroller by the wayside, whereafter she surrendered her driving forever. The two matrons, in the days of their youth, had labored together in another state, and having long lost all intelligence of each other, were by happy fortune reunited in a strange land after J’s parents retired to the lake district.
Upon all seasons of festival, care was taken to invite her to the gathering; and after I had secured my license for the driving of automobiles, the office of fetching her devolved upon myself, her dwelling being scarce a journey of two or three minutes. The photographic record displays the repast on New Year’s Eve in the year nineteen hundred and eighty-eight: J’s mother occupies the seat of honor, with J and myself disposed upon her left hand; Maggie sits upon her right, next to the second sister, whilst the professor occupies the station opposite the head of the board. Another plate, captured in the twilight of the fourth day of July in the year nineteen hundred and ninety-two, displays Maggie and J’s mother seated upon the eastern terrace, drinking and maintaining a tranquil discourse. The vintages they held within their hands were unknown to me, yet it was their frequent custom to partake of Martini as an antepast, held within conical glasses wherein were dropped sundry green olives.
Within the hours of leisure at the dwelling of J’s mother, to ward off tediousness, she escorted me to an art and craft boutique within the plaza of the small settlement. There, our eyes caught a certain vintage magazine of needlework, wherein was contained an exceeding commendable tutorial for the fashioning of owls; this volume we straightway purchased. I applied my hands unto the labor, and upon the very hour that the foremost owl was brought forth into being, Maggie conceived a singular affection for it. She, with great insistence, delivered unto me five dollars to purchase that very first fowl. Though I was loth to accept her coin, she would by no means be denied, counseling me to employ my skill in these handicrafts that I might thereby secure some small profit; "For behold," said she, "I am established as thy very first patron." Moreover, she brought hither two parcels of cloth, desiring that I should fashion a gown for her frame from the one, and keep the remainder as a bounty for myself. Being devoid of the art of self-commendation and unversed in the commerce of the world, I could establish no trade. Yet within the American realm, whosoever seeks employment must needs produce two sponsors; and for all the brief labors I subsequently undertook, it was J’s mother and Maggie who ever rendered those letters of commendation on my behalf.
I fashioned by hand four effigies of owls from common hempen cord, rising some foot in height, meet to be suspended upon the wall as pieces of art. These fowls, with eyes widened and intent, perched upon withered boughs, presenting an aspect exceedingly animated. These four owls each possessed a singular countenance, as though endowed with diverse characters. In the season of its youth, this very owl presented a plump habit of body and a glance full of curiosity, betraying a certain rustic innocence; yet it lacked that subtle reservation and composed dignity which it hath since acquired with the passage of years. For the fowl was suspended upon the wall, and though in its early days it was of a more corpulent mold, by long hanging it hath grown wondrous lean; which transformation was wrought in truth by the sheer constraint of gravity, by reason that beneath its talons was fixed a somewhat thick and withered bough. When the ancient and the youthful fowls are disposed together, one perceives not merely that the habit of body hath grown spare and grave, but that even the thick bough beneath the talons hath lost a great portion of its length, having broken asunder at either end. Truly, Time is devoid of ruth. The second of these owls was bestowed as a gift upon J’s eldest sister, whilst the third and the fourth remain yet in my possession.
On the fourth day of January in the year nineteen hundred and eighty-nine, I made my second entry into New York City. The air was exceedingly dry and piercing, yet it brought a sense of refreshment and clarity to the spirit. Though I made no minute record at that season, I may now, by the evidence of the photographic plates, set down the order of that day’s progress. Within the great mart of Macy’s upon Thirty-Fourth Street in Manhattan, I purchased a long interlined storm-coat of black London Fog. Passing through Herald Square, we ascended to the one-hundred-and-second storey of the Empire State Building. From the observation terrace upon the eighty-sixth level, I surveyed the panoramic expanse of Manhattan: looking northward, the spire of the Chrysler Building arose against the sky; looking southward, the twin towers of the World Trade Center stood captured within the lens. Continuing our progress on foot, we arrived at Rockefeller Plaza, where the festive spirit of the New Year yet lingered in all its abundance. There arose a Christmas tree of towering height, and beneath it, many persons were skating within the sunken court. Against the western wall stood a gilded bronze effigy of Prometheus, the character of Grecian myth who conveyed the spark of fire unto mankind. Hard by lay the boutique of Saks Fifth Avenue, and the magnificent structure of St. Patrick's Cathedral.
特別感謝 Gemini AI 提供充滿活力的翻譯和文本潤色。
Special thanks to Gemini AI for providing the spirited translation and text refinement.
第四百三十篇
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