1985年7月初的一天，老C興奮地來到我辦公室，問我想不想參加工會組織的公費旅遊？想啊！可我已經在兩年前參加過工會組織的旅遊了，去了普陀山，下次還不知道猴兒年馬月才能再輪到我呢。工會每年都組織一次福利旅遊，各系的教職員工都會輪流參加。我也一直納悶兒，那次去普陀山，所裡有那麼多人，怎麼就會輪到我了。而這一次，似乎也是沒來由地天上掉餡餅渣兒。
原來這次老C和她古籍所同一棟小洋樓裡出版社的一位女職員小L輪到了去黃山旅遊。小L有倆十歲左右的孩子要照顧沒法去，就把名額送給了我。電教所和小洋樓很近，一來二去的我也認識了孩子媽。
7月20日到7月25日我們去了黃山，跋山涉水看遍奇松怪石，好不快活！
 |
| 這背後山上的怪石叫「松鼠跳天都」 |
 |
| 這背後山上的怪石叫「猴子觀海」 |
 |
| 右邊的是「夢筆生花」 |
在黃山迎客松前留影，照片中身後那根用來支撐樹枝的鐵桿，視覺上正好也撐在了我的肩膀上。我曾經想用App擦掉這根突兀的支柱，但如今回頭想想，還是決定保留原本的照片，忠於歷史。儘管它看起來有些不自然、甚至有礙觀瞻，但這才是那個年代最真實的痕跡。
那年代年輕人同性之間的好朋友，包括男生之間，經常有勾肩搭背一起拍照的。這與同性戀無關，那時我們腦子裡還沒這根弦，不知道什麼是同性戀。雖然古書中早有同性戀的描述，比如「斷袖」、「分桃」，但是文革把這些都屏蔽掉了，我們這一代人年輕時候腦子裡對這一領域幾乎就是一片空白。見到有男生說話做派有女人樣，估計連他自己都不知道自己是有同性戀傾向，大家最多會送他一個綽號叫「娘娘腔」。
這次旅遊，我們新結識了一位體育系的年輕教師小W，和一位在留學生食堂工作的小Z。這是右起：我、小W與小Z一起在桃花溪裡盡興地戲水，在瀑布前的水潭裡玩得喜笑顏開。這合不攏嘴巴的樣子是我一生中極少有的，尤其是在照片裡。我在多數照片中都是很嚴肅的表情，一是年輕時追求喜怒不形於色，二是牙齒不齊留下的陰影，雖然20歲時做過矯正。
這天，天氣十分炎熱，剛一走進這冰涼的溪水中，那種通體頓時激發出的舒爽，是任何冷若冰霜的人也招架不住、掩蓋不了的。哈哈大笑，縱情於山水之中，本是人生的一大樂趣呢！
 |
| 我們在名泉橋下濯足 |
這是在白龍橋下溪瀑邊，小Z笑呵呵地、調皮地不斷用手撩起水花往我身上潑，我慌忙閃躲。
路過鯽魚背時那真叫一個驚險。鯽魚背是一段隆起的峰崗，一米來寬，邊上有鐵鏈子當扶手，兩邊是深不見底的懸崖峭壁。過鯽魚背時天氣晴朗，那險峻的風景看了還真有點膽戰心驚。一次我們縱隊行走在一條狹窄的山道上，突然我腳下被絆了一下，身體失衡撲倒在路邊，雙肩背包的慣性差點兒沒把我帶下山去。
遊黃山腳下的太平湖時，起先跟姑娘們一起坐在橫搭在船頭上、伸出船體左右好長一段的木頭跳板上，盪著雙腿伸入湖水中，踢起簇簇水浪花。嘻嘻哈哈的一路遊玩下來，我們都成了好友。
回到學校後，一次小Z打電話到我的辦公室，問我：「食堂裡週末有個留學生舞會，你想來玩兒嗎？」「想啊！怎麼進啊？」「你幾點幾點過來，我帶你進去。」
原來，外辦給留學生舉辦舞會，都要憑票入場的。只有留學生可以有多餘的票，帶他們認識的朋友進場，一般人就進不去了。小Z沒有入場券，她是帶我通過膳食科的大門，繞到食堂的後面，從一個只有食堂工作人員進出的小門上樓的。我一共去過三次。
當時認識她時根本沒有想過要通過她怎樣怎樣，我是個沒有心機的人。
**********************************
Memories of Mount Huang, 1985: The Iron Support of the Welcoming Pine, Arm-in-Arm Photos, and the Back Door to the International Student Cafeteria
One day in early July 1985, Old C strode into my office full of excitement, asking if I would like to join a publicly funded vacation organized by the labor union. Of course I did! However, I had already gone on a union-organized trip two years prior to Mount Putuo; I had no idea how many years—or "months of the monkey"—it would take before my turn came around again. The union organized these welfare trips annually, allowing faculty and staff from various departments to participate on a rotational basis. I had also constantly wondered why, with so many people in my institute back then, the turn had somehow fallen to me for that trip to Mount Putuo. And this time, it seemed like yet another completely unprompted slice of heaven-sent pie crumbs falling right into my lap.
As it turned out, Old C and Little L, a female staff member from the publishing house located in the same small Western-style building as her Institute of Ancient Books, had drawn the slots for a trip to Mount Huang. Because Little L had two children around ten years old to care for and could not leave, she gifted her spot to me. The Educational Technology Institute sat very close to that small Western-style building, and through frequent encounters, I had also come to know the children's mother.
From July 20 to July 25, we traveled to Mount Huang, trekking over mountains and wading through streams, taking in all the bizarre pines and exotic rocks—it was a magnificent, joyful escape! The unique rock formations on the peaks behind us were named "The Squirrel Leaping toward Capital of Heaven Peak," "The Monkey Gazing at the Sea of Clouds," and "The Flower Growing from a Brush-Tip Dream"...
When taking a photograph in front of the Welcoming Pine on Mount Huang, the iron support rod used to prop up the grand tree branch looked visually as though it were resting directly upon my shoulder. I once intended to use an app to erase this obstructive pillar, but thinking back today, I decided to utilize the original, unedited photograph to remain completely true to history. Although it appears unnatural and slightly unsightly, it represents the truest, rawest trace of that exact era.
In those days, it was entirely common for young, same-sex close friends—including young men—to take photographs with their arms slung around each other's shoulders or waists. This had absolutely nothing to do with homosexuality; back then, that chord simply didn't exist in our minds, and we had no concept of what homosexuality even was. Although classical texts had long recorded historical metaphors for same-sex love, such as "the cut sleeve" or "the shared peach," the Cultural Revolution had completely wiped these terms from public awareness. Our generation possessed a near-total blank slate regarding this realm during our youth. If we encountered a man whose speech and mannerisms were effeminate, it's highly probable that even he himself was unaware of any homosexual inclinations. The most the crowd would do was dub him with the nickname "Sissy" (Niang-niang-qiang).
During this excursion, we befriended a young instructor from the Physical Education Department, Little W, and a young woman named Little Z who worked inside the international student cafeteria. This is a picture of the three of us splashing joyfully in the waters of the Peach Blossom Brook, our faces splitting into wide, ecstatic grins in the pool beneath the waterfall. That expression of uncontained, open-mouthed laughter is something rarely seen throughout my life, especially in photographs; in the vast majority of prints, I carry an exceptionally solemn expression. This was partly due to my youthful pursuit of hiding all emotion beneath a calm exterior, and partly due to the lingering insecurity left by my crooked teeth, even though I had undergone orthodontic treatment at the age of twenty.
The weather on that day was intensely hot. The moment we stepped into that icy-cold brook water, the refreshing shock that surged through our entire bodies was something that even the most cold-frost persona could not withstand or conceal. To burst into wild laughter and lose oneself completely within the mountains and rivers remains, after all, one of the grandest pleasures of human existence!
We washed our feet beneath the Mingquan Bridge. And this was by the cascading stream (cascade) near the Bailong Bridge, where Little Z giggled, playfully splashing the running water toward me with her hands time and again, while I hurriedly dodged to escape it.
Crossing the Herringbone Ridge (Jiyu Bei) was an absolute exercise in terror. The ridge was a narrow, raised crest of stone barely a meter wide, with iron chains running along the sides to serve as handrails. On both sides lay sheer, bottomless abysses. When we crossed it, the weather was crystal clear, and the stark, perilous grandeur of the landscape left one genuinely trembling with fear. At one point, as we marched in a single-file column along a narrow, treacherous mountain path, my foot caught on something. I lost my balance and pitched forward toward the road's edge; the momentum of my heavy backpack very nearly dragged me clean off the mountainside.
When we toured Taiping Lake at the foot of Mount Huang, I sat with the young women upon a long wooden plank that laid horizontally across the boat's bow, extending a considerable distance out past the hull on both sides. We swung our legs over the edge, dipping our feet into the lake and kicking up clusters of bright water spray. Chatting and laughing all the way down the line, we all became tight friends.
After returning to campus, Little Z called my office one day. "There's an international student dance in the cafeteria this weekend," she asked. "Would you like to come and check it out?" "Of course I would! But how do I get in?" "Just come over at such-and-such time, and I'll bring you in."
As it turned out, the Foreign Affairs Office hosted these dances for international students, and entry was strictly restricted via tickets. Only the international students held spare tickets to bring in friends they knew; an ordinary local had no way of entering. Little Z didn't have an entrance ticket either; instead, she guided me through the main gates of the Catering Department, wound around to the very back of the cafeteria building, and brought me upstairs through a tiny door used exclusively by the kitchen staff. I attended a total of three times.
When I first befriended her on that mountain trip, I had absolutely no calculating thoughts of utilizing her connections for my own ends; I have always been a person completely devoid of scheming motives.
特別感謝 Gemini AI 提供充滿活力的翻譯和文本潤色。
Special thanks to Gemini AI for providing the spirited translation and text refinement.
第三百七十八篇
