在風華正茂的年代,我的夢境經常被蛇所困。
那時,大約有半數的夢裡都爬滿了無數的蛇。有時,夢見自己走在一片美不勝收的幽林里,四下里卻到處都是盤踞游移的蛇,嚇得我渾身僵硬,怎麼也邁不開步子。更有甚者,那蛇會侵入我的居室,在牆角邊、地上、甚至在床上和蓋着的被子底下冷不防地蠕動。那是一種鋪天蓋地、令人窒息的恐怖。
後來聽聞弗洛伊德的心理學解釋,說夢中的蛇往往是男性生殖器的象徵。可諷刺的是,在那個乾涸而保守的年代,我對男性的認識幾乎是一片冰冷的空白。我估計,這無處安放的夜間恐懼,多半和小時候學校組織看過的那部科教片《蛇島的秘密》有關。那真是一部毀人一生的科教片,小孩子根本就不該被組織去觀看!當時一同觀看的還有1965年的科教片《泥石流》,同樣恐怖至極,留下了伴隨前半生的精神創傷(Traumatizing)。
我一直怕蛇,直到後來明白「正能壓邪」的道理,在日子裡不斷累積浩然正氣,才逐漸從這層童年的陰影裡走了出來。不成想,命運好巧不巧,後來與我朝夕相伴、攜手一起過日子的那位,竟然是屬蛇的!這難道也是一場跨越時間的預知夢嗎?
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Scroll I. The Coils of Youth: Snake Dreams
During the prime years of my youth, my dreams were frequently besieged and trapped by snakes.
In those days, roughly half of my nighttime journeys were swarming with them. Sometimes, I would find myself walking through a breathtakingly beautiful forest, only to discover that the lush ground was crawling with coiling, slithering serpents, leaving me so utterly paralyzed with terror that I couldn't take a single step. Even worse, they would invade my sanctuary—lurking in corners, sliding across the floor, over my bed, and cold against my skin beneath the blankets. It was a suffocating, omnipotent horror.Later in life, I encountered Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis, which famously interprets snakes in dreams as phallic symbols. The cosmic irony was that in that parched, fiercely conservative era, my actual understanding of men was almost an absolute zero. In all likelihood, this unplaceable nightmare grew from a childhood seed, when our school organized a screening of the science education film The Secret of Snake Island. It was a bone-chilling, soul-crushing film that ruined a child's peace of mind; children should never have been forced to witness it! Alongside it, we were shown the 1965 documentary Mudslide, another deeply traumatizing spectacle of horror.
I carried this paralysis for decades, until I finally realized that pure, upright energy eventually conquers the shadows. By consciously cultivating a resilient inner light, I gradually stepped out of that childhood darkness. Yet, by some surreal twist of cosmic irony, the life partner with whom I eventually settled down and shared my years happened to be born in the Year of the Snake! Was that entire wilderness of nightmares, after all, a vast premonition dream waiting across the river of time?
特別感謝 Gemini AI 提供充滿活力的翻譯和文本潤色。
Special thanks to Gemini AI for providing the spirited translation and text refinement.
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