Sunday, August 16, 2026

我家七兄妹的成長:那個時代的深深烙印

 


我家七兄妹的成長,都在不同程度上留下了那個時代的深深烙印。每當我們回望過去,那些個人的命運便與宏大的歷史背景交織在一起,呈現出一段段充滿血淚與堅韌的家族史詩。

1. 大哥:長兄如父的堅實擔當

1956年大哥高中畢業時,我才剛出生。在那個物質匱乏的年代,為了幫助父母撫養下面眾多的弟弟妹妹,作為長子的他毅然放棄了就讀全日制大學的機會,轉而選擇了帶有薪水的、半工半讀的夜大。他在京滬兩地的名校求學,本該享受純粹的學術時光,卻在家裡早早擔起了生活的重任。照顧弟妹、買菜做飯,這些繁瑣的家務填滿了他的青年時代。人們常說“長兄如父”,在大哥的身上,這句話從來不是一句空洞的讚美,而是實實在在、頂天立地的擔當。

2. 蘭姐姐:22歲過早凋零的青春

上世紀五十年代,中央為了緩解城市的就業壓力,向全國發出了響亮的號召:“青年人到邊疆去,到祖國最需要的地方去,開發邊疆,建設邊疆,到那裡安家落戶!”當時正值1957年,我那年僅初二的蘭姐姐受了這份熱血口號的鼓動,竟然瞞著家裡偷偷報了名,義無反顧地奔赴了邊疆。那時的我還太小,對她的離去毫無印象。直到我八歲那年,才終於見到了久別歸家的蘭姐姐。當時的她因為嚴重的疾病導致大肚子腫脹,只能虛弱地躺在床上。她送了我一條藍色的絲巾,那成了她留給我的唯一一件禮物。邊疆的生活實在太艱辛了,加上長期的營養不良,徹底摧毀了她的身體。而那個時候,遠在上海的我們也同樣在挨餓。1964年,蘭姐姐匆匆離開了人世,走的時候年僅22歲,像一朵還沒來得及綻放就過早凋零的花。

3. 三哥:政治檔案裡抹不掉的陰影

三哥當年在空軍技校讀書,按照當時的政策,畢業生畢業後可以直接轉為現役軍人。然而,這本該順理成章的前途,卻因為家庭政審檔案裡的一場飛來橫禍而徹底受阻。文革初期,中央提倡“大鳴、大放、大字報”,性格心直口快的母親便抱著純粹的想法,向居委會領導提了些意見。結果,這番直言引來了居委會主任的打擊報復。他們挑動群眾鬥群眾,連夜將母親打成了“現行反革命”。1966年9月9日當天,紅衛兵就氣勢洶洶地沖進我們家進行了抄家。到了1968年畢業分配時,母親雖然已經被正式平反。由於當時抗美援越的戰局緊迫,前線的飛機正等著人去修理。原本屬於68屆老三屆、本該“一片紅”全部下鄉務農的他們,被破格全部免於下鄉,直接分配到了偏遠的三線飛機修理廠工作。那裡的生活條件,同樣充滿了無法言喻的艱苦。

4. 四哥:沉默遠行與幻滅的青年

四哥是66屆的畢業生。根據當時嚴格的分配原則,他被分配去了農場。1968年10月16日那天,全家人和鄰居幾個好兄弟拉著拖車去送他。拖車上放著大哥親手為他打造的笨重木箱,以及一個簡陋的鋪蓋卷兒。在那個年代,一起去農場的人群中幾乎沒有幾個人能帶得起箱子。四哥當時低著頭坐在車裡,內心的難受與委屈讓他只想痛哭,以至於車子啟動時,他甚至都沒敢站起來向送行的母親和朋友們招手告別。

四哥原本是個躊躇滿志、在學校裡成績人品俱佳的優異青年。他曾光榮地被學校批准成為去北京串聯的紅衛兵代表。如果能夠去成,他就能在9月15日那天,站在天安門廣場數十萬人遊行的大會上親眼見到毛主席,這在當時可是至高無上的巨大榮耀。然而,母親突然被打成反革命的消息對他而言猶如當頭一棒。去北京的代表資格被瞬間取消,隨後他更是被無情地開除了紅衛兵組織。四哥後來痛苦地回憶道:“我真是好像進了人間地獄一樣難受。”此後的歲月裡,四哥曾有兩次參軍和一次招警察的機會,每次的體檢和考核都順利通過了,但每到最後一關,都是被政治審查卡了下來。接二連三的沉重打擊,讓這位曾經意氣風發的青年從此一蹶不振。

5. 五哥:被時代好運眷顧的人

相比之下,五哥則是家裡那個被好運深深眷顧的人。他讀中學時屬於1967屆,陰差陽錯地正好躲過了1968年那場“上山下鄉一片紅”的政策狂潮。回溯到1958年大躍進時期,當時的家庭婦女都被號召走出家門去參加工作,因此差不多所有適齡的兒童都被提前弄去學校讀書了。這導致五哥比同班的其他同學都要小上一兩歲。中學畢業後,他被順利分配到了上海的一家電機廠。平時在家裡一聲不響、性格內向的他,在進廠後居然破天荒地加入了廠裡的文藝宣傳隊。那段唱歌跳舞、上台表演的日子過得極其滋潤。到了1973年,由於表現出色,他更被廠裡直接保送進了上海交通大學讀書。要知道,在那時高考還沒有恢復,想上一所好大學簡直是難如登天。看樣子,那個時代所有罕見的好事兒,全都讓他一個人給碰上了。

6. 六哥:破滅的邊疆文學幻象

六哥的命運則格外命苦。他當年上的是令人羡慕的五年制的小學,因此比一般人早了一年畢業。然而,這一年的提前,卻讓他一頭撞上了“一片紅”的下鄉大潮。他被遠遠地分配到了雲南的建設兵團去割橡膠。在那裡,他們住的是四面透風的破爛竹樓,每天喝的是清湯寡水、毫無油水的“玻璃湯”。最終,他的健康狀況垮了。他第一次回到上海探親時,看到我正在看小說“雁飛塞北”,他說都是假的,如果是“邊疆曉歌”的話,他都會搶過去撕了。那些文人的筆墨,給了當年無數的年輕人予“詩與遠方”的美好遐想;但現實的兵團生活,卻只有逃不掉的蚊叮蟲咬、繁重的體力勞動,以及看不見盡頭的艱辛。

7. 小妹我的分配:為了風景與空間的選擇

我是家裡最小的一個。1973年,當輪到我必須面對“四個面向”的抉擇時,我也曾站在人生的十字路口。依照那個年代的分配政策,我留在上海的資歷和條件並不够“硬”。那時我的五個哥哥:兩個留滬、兩個遠在深山、一個在近郊農場。倘若硬要留在上海,等待我的唯一去處,便只有那環境简陋令人窒息的里弄生產組,或者是去當一名清掃大街的環衛工人。在那個年代很多人的眼裡,戶口就是命根子,離開上海絕對是一種巨大的不幸。

但在我的心裡,比起在那些昏暗、窒息、終日見不到陽光的舊管道間裡消磨掉自己最寶貴的青春,我骨子裡更渴望大自然的開闊與自由。於是,我堅定地對分配工作的老師說:“與其進里弄生產組,我情願去農村。”

當時周圍的很多人都覺得我傻,覺得我放著人人寤寐求之的大上海戶口不要,偏偏要去農村吃那份農活的苦。但我自己心裡比誰都清楚:我不是在放棄上海戶口,我是在為自己選擇生活。農村有清新的空氣,有宜人的景色,有一望無際的地平線。這份對空間的執著,和對大自然風景的迷戀,是我在那個試圖把所有人都規範化的宏大時代裡,為自己留下的唯一一點小小的、自由的堅持。

後來到了農場,我住的雖然只是泥地茅草棚,但一推開窗,外面確是連綿不絕的果園。開春的時候,我常常獨自一個人鑽進那片桃花、梨花和油菜花交織成片的大果園裡。那時的我,並不知道自己未來會通過恢復後的高考重新回到上海讀書,更不知道幾十年後的自己會遠渡重洋、來到海外定居。我當時只知道,在那片開闊的天地裡,我真正呼吸到了在上海里弄加工組裡,一輩子都聞不到的清香。

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The Upbringing of Our Seven Siblings: The Deep Imprints of an Era

The upbringing of the seven siblings in our family was, to varying degrees, deeply imprinted with the marks of that turbulent era. Whenever we look back, our individual destinies intertwine with the grand backdrop of history, revealing a family epic filled with both hardship and resilience.

1. Eldest Brother: A Heavy Responsibility as the Patriarch

When my eldest brother graduated from high school in 1956, I had just been born. In that era of extreme material scarcity, in order to help our parents raise the many younger brothers and sisters below him, he resolutely gave up the opportunity to attend a full-time university. Instead, he chose a paid, part-time work-study night school. Though he studied at prestigious institutions in both Beijing and Shanghai and should have enjoyed a purely academic youth, he shouldered the heavy burdens of the household early on. Buying groceries, cooking, and taking care of his siblings consumed his youth. People often say, "The eldest brother is like a father." In my eldest brother's case, this was never an empty phrase of praise, but a solid, practical lifelong commitment.

2. Sister Lan: A Youth Withered Too Soon at Age 22

In the 1950s, to alleviate employment pressures in urban areas, the central government issued a resounding battle cry to the nation's youth: "Go to the frontiers! Go to the places where our motherland needs you most! Develop the frontiers, build the frontiers, and settle down there!" In 1957, my Sister Lan, who was only in her second year of junior high school, was deeply moved by these passionate slogans. She secretly signed up behind our family's back and courageously set off for the harsh frontier. I was too small at the time to remember her departure. It wasn't until I was eight years old that I finally saw Sister Lan again when she briefly returned home. By then, she was terribly weak, lying on the bed with her abdomen severely swollen from illness. She gave me a blue silk scarf, which became the only gift she ever left me. The frontier life was simply too grueling, and chronic malnutrition completely destroyed her health. Meanwhile, back in Shanghai, we were starving too. In 1964, Sister Lan passed away at the tender age of 22—a delicate flower that withered far too soon, before she ever had the chance to fully bloom.

3. Third Brother: The Ineradicable Shadow in the Political Dossier

My third brother was a student at the Air Force Technical School. According to the policies of the time, graduates could directly transition into active-duty military service. However, a brilliant career path that should have been a certainty was abruptly blocked by a sudden catastrophe involving our family's political background. In the early days of the Cultural Revolution, the central government advocated the movement to "contribute openly, express opinions freely, and paste big-character posters." My mother, straightforward and outspoken, offered some honest constructive feedback to the leaders of the neighborhood committee. Her honesty brought swift retaliation from the committee director. They incited conflicts among the masses, and that very night—September 9, 1966—they branded my mother a "current counter-revolutionary." Red Guards aggressively stormed our house to ransack it that same day. By the time graduation assignments came around in 1968, my mother had been officially vindicated. However, due to the urgent pressures of the war effort to assist Vietnam against American forces, frontline aircraft were desperately waiting for repairs. Consequently, his class was completely exempted from the "All Red" rural relocation mandate that forced most 1968 graduates into farming. Instead, they were directly assigned to a remote, hidden "Third-Line" aircraft repair factory. The living conditions there were plagued by unspeakable hardships.

4. Fourth Brother: A Silent Departure and a Shattered Dream

My fourth brother belonged to the high school class of 1966. According to the strict allocation principles of the time, he was assigned to work at a state-run farm. On October 16, 1968, my family and neighbors pulled a trailer to send him off. On the trailer rested a heavy wooden chest hand-built by our eldest brother, along with a simple bedding roll. In those days, very few youths heading to the farms could afford to bring an actual chest. My fourth brother sat in the vehicle with his head bowed, suffocated by a grief that made him want to weep bitterly. As the vehicle started moving, he didn't even dare to stand up to wave goodbye to our mother and the friends who had come to see him off.

My fourth brother had originally been an ambitious, high-achieving youth with excellent character and grades. He had been honorably selected by the school to serve as a Red Guard representative to travel to Beijing for political networking. Had he been able to go, he would have stood in Tiananmen Square on September 15, witnessing Chairman Mao in front of hundreds of thousands of marching youths—a supreme and monumental honor at the time. However, the sudden news of our mother being branded a counter-revolutionary hit him like a thunderbolt. His selection to go to Beijing was instantly revoked, and he was ruthlessly expelled from the Red Guard organization. He later recalled with great pain: "It felt as though I had been plunged straight into a living hell." In the years that followed, my fourth brother successfully passed the medical and physical examinations to join the military twice and the police force once. Every single time, he easily cleared the criteria, only to be cold-heartedly rejected at the very final stage due to strict political background checks. These relentless, crushing blows caused this once-vibrant young man to lose his spirit entirely, and he never truly recovered.

5. Fifth Brother: A Man Blessed by the Fortune of the Era

In stark contrast, my fifth brother was the one in our family blessed with extraordinary good fortune. He graduated from junior high school in the class of 1967, completely bypassing the massive 1968 tidal wave of the "All Red" rural relocation movement. Looking back to the Great Leap Forward in 1958, housewives nationwide were urged to leave their homes and join the workforce, meaning almost all school-aged children were sent to classrooms prematurely. As a result, my fifth brother was a year or two younger than his classmates. Upon graduation, he was successfully assigned a job at an electric motor factory in Shanghai. Though he was usually quiet and introverted at home, he unexpectedly joined the factory’s cultural propaganda troupe. Those days spent singing, dancing, and performing on stage were incredibly rewarding. By 1973, due to his outstanding performance, he was sponsored by the factory to study at Shanghai Jiao Tong University. One must remember that the national college entrance examination (Gaokao) had not yet been restored, making entry into a top-tier university nearly impossible. It seemed as though every rare stroke of luck in that entire era was bestowed entirely upon him.

6. Sixth Brother: The Dissolution of Frontier Literary Illusions

My sixth brother’s destiny was exceptionally bitter. He attended an enviable five-year primary school program, which allowed him to graduate a year earlier than most people. However, this one-year advancement threw him headfirst into the brutal "All Red" relocation wave. He was sent to a distant construction corps in Yunnan to harvest rubber. There, they lived in dilapidated bamboo huts that let the wind howl through the cracks, and they survived on a watery, completely oil-free broth they called "glass soup." Eventually, his health broke down. When he returned to Shanghai to visit family for the first time, he saw me reading the novel “Wild Geese Flying North of the Great Wall” and remarked that it was all make-believe; he added that if it had been “Morning Song of the Frontier”, he would have snatched it away and torn it to shreds. The flowery prose of urban writers had given the youth of that era countless beautiful illusions about "poetry and faraway lands." The raw reality of the military corps, however, offered nothing but relentless mosquito bites, grueling manual labor, and endless hardship.

7. My Own Assignment: Choosing Freedom Through Landscapes and Open Space

I was the youngest child in our family. In 1973, when it was finally my turn to face the fateful "Four Directions" career allocation, I found myself standing squarely at a major crossroads in life. According to the allocation policies of the era, my qualifications to remain in Shanghai weren't 'solid' enough. Out of my five elder brothers, two were in Shanghai, two were stationed deep in the remote mountains, and one was at a suburban farm. If I had stubbornly insisted on staying in Shanghai, my only options would have been to enter the claustrophobic, suffocating neighborhood production workshops or work as a sanitation laborer sweeping the streets. In that era, a Shanghai household registration (Hukou) was considered a lifeline, and leaving the city was universally viewed as a massive misfortune.

Yet, deep within my soul, rather than wasting my precious youth amidst the dark, claustrophobic old piping spaces of a neighborhood workshop, I yearned for the vast openness and untamed freedom of nature [INDEX]. Thus, I firmly told the assignment teacher: "Instead of entering a neighborhood production workshop, I would rather go to the countryside."

Many people around me thought I was foolish. They couldn't comprehend why I would give up a coveted Shanghai Hukou, a prize so many dreamed of day and night, just to endure the heavy labor of farm life. But I knew exactly what I was doing: I wasn't throwing away my city registration; I was choosing a life. The countryside offered crisp, clean air, stunning scenery, and an uninterrupted, boundless horizon. This deep-seated obsession with open space and infatuation with natural landscapes was my singular, quiet act of holding onto personal freedom within a grand era that tried to standardize everyone.

Later at the farm, although I lived in a thatched mud-floor hut, I could push open my window to find a view of endless, rolling orchards. In the early days of spring, I often sneaked out alone to wander through those massive orchards where peach blossoms, pear blossoms, and canola flowers painted the landscape together. The young woman I was back then had no idea that a restored national exam would eventually bring her back to study in Shanghai, nor did she know that decades later, she would cross an entire ocean to settle overseas. I only knew one thing: in that wide, open expanse of earth, I was truly breathing in a crisp fragrance that could never be found inside a cramped Shanghai neighborhood workshop.

第三百三十九篇

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